Generalised anxiety affects more of us than is easy to admit. That sick feeling at the bottom of your stomach on a Sunday evening when it feels like the weekend flew by and it’s already time to get ready for work tomorrow. Or it could be the harrowing feeling you have on a Wednesday when you realise there’s still half a week to go but you’re already drained.

That anticipatory anxiety can make it hard to live in the moment. If your mind is already worried about the future, when does it have time to enjoy the present?

Winter comes with a slew of changes that can affect the mind and how you cope. The shorter days, cold weather, dark mornings and grey skies can trigger a chemical change in the brain leading to symptoms of depression. Although spring is setting up shop, it can be hard to shake the sluggish, irritable, dark cast over you.

I’m not a healthcare professional, nor a therapist or psychiatrist.

I’m a girl who’s survived many low points, dark places and long winters. I’ve felt lonely in a house full of people, with overwhelming pressure and obsessive thoughts that never seem to stop circling my mind. I know firsthand how draining life can be and how much strength it takes to pick yourself back up. But the strength IS in you, and you don’t have to get up all alone.

Here are some intentional things you can add to your days to help you keep going.

1. Light 

Make the first thing you do every morning to open your blinds, and let whatever light there may be wash over you and your space. Doing this can help correct irregularities in your body clock, the body’s natural response to light is associated with good moods so getting some regular exposure to sunlight (or even an anxiety relief lamp that mimics the look and feel of sunshine) can drastically improve your mood and energy levels.

2. Move

If you’re a doom scroller like me, it can be as little as putting your phone down and picking up another object. Adding stretching to your morning or evening routine to ensure you move your body at least once a day. It also encourages deep breathing and blood circulation. If you can, get outside. Even if you just walk around the block or stand at your doorstep, the fresh air, light and movement will do wonders for your mind.

3. Self-care rituals

Pick a day, whether it’s once a week, every two weeks or once a month (I wouldn’t do less than once a month) and make that day your self-care day. Indulge in yourself, do good things for yourself, and take special care of yourself. Self-care means different things to different people so start with figuring out what you need, and what part of you needs extra care. My self-care day consists of my favourite comfort shows, a thorough skincare routine, cleaning my space, calling my friends and long chats with my sister.

4. Eat more and eat good

It can be hard to find the energy to cook or even figure out what you want to eat. Anxiety and depression can cause nausea or stomach pain which can lead to a low appetite. As someone who forgets to eat daily, nothing good comes from skipping a meal when you’re already drained. Things I’ve found to help include buying snacks that can hold me over throughout the day, oats-based snacks, fresh or dried fruit, yoghurts and granola. When it comes to dinner (the hardest meal of the day for me) I’ve found listing all the meals I like, that I know I can cook without much energy in my notes. I shop specifically for these meals, which means I have my own mini menu of meals ready to go.

5. Third Place

A third place is a sociological term describing a space outside of your home and workplace where you have the opportunity to socialise, relax and even be creative. This can be a community club, church group, gym, library or even a friend’s house. Third places are important cornerstones of community, they can be the reason someone leaves their house for the first time all week or the place where you can finally feel at ease without the stress of work or home life. 

If you’re struggling to find your own third place, finding a community of people with your interests online can be a good start. @TheNoireSpace is a community of black women based in London, they throw monthly creative events and post content on sisterhood and self-discovery. A lot of areas have their own running clubs, if you enjoy exercise but dread doing it alone this could be a great alternative. @Galactamelanin is another black collective based in London, they throw parties, movie nights and networking events for creatives and anyone interested.

I urge anyone with overwhelming feelings of sadness to reach out to someone, whether that’s a family member, teacher, friend or doctor. If you feel you cannot reach out to someone you know personally, Better Help doesn’t require a GP referral to find you a therapist or NHS Talking Therapy is a free service where you can access help over the phone, in person or through an online course.